By Barbara Pierce
This time of year, we talk a lot about peace on earth and goodwill toward men. We wish everyone a “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays.” It’s the most wonderful time of the year!
Yeah, right!
For the most part, it’s not peaceful, merry or happy. It’s overwhelmingly stressful.
I love Christmas! I really do. I love the lights on the houses, the Christmas tree, getting together with family and friends. And all that great food!
What I don’t love is the stress and exhaustion it’s become! Christmas is frenzied chaos, a never-ending list of things to do, places to go. While my credit card balance grows at an astounding rate as I try to find just the right gift for everyone on my list.
Then in January, I’m stressed out, worn out, anxious, out of money, feel let down and wonder why I didn’t do a better job of putting the brakes on.
So I’m taking a different approach to Christmas this year. I’m going to simplify, focus on what really matters to me instead of trying to do it all.
This year, I’m going to remember what I truly love about it. Making Christmas cookies with my grandkids, the smell of a real Christmas tree in my living room, Christmas lights, Christmas carols, a new snowfall — when all is white and quiet and so beautiful.
I’m going to focus on those things that I truly love about Christmas.
What I don’t like is the pressure to track down the right gift for everyone, the office Christmas party, over-crowded stores, over-spending, eating too much, getting gifts I don’t want.
I’m going to exclude as many of these things as I can.
If you’re already running a tight schedule with little time left over to do Christmas right, consider some of these suggestions to downsize the fiasco that Christmas has become:
Money is the top cause for stress for most of us during the holidays. Money spent on gifts. And the stress of finding those gifts. The pressure to buy the perfect gift for everyone.
Instead, have open conversations with family members ahead of time about gifts and ways to scale down.
Consider focusing on making memories with those you love. By prioritizing experiences instead of stuff, you can keep it simple while still enjoying yourself and making it special for those around you. Things like enjoying the Christmas lights, cozying up in front of the fireplace to read Christmas stories with your kids, making snow angels or popping popcorn for a Christmas movie marathon. If you need a new fireplace installation or need to service your existing gas unit, make sure that you contact professionals like Oasis Fireplace.
Consider a gift exchange where you each buy for only one family member.
Families who want to halt the gift-giving mania and restore fun and sanity to the holiday might take a tip from a friend of mine. Her family instituted a gift exchange that’s the high point of the season. On Christmas Eve all adults and kids gather. Each brings one wrapped unisex gift for less than $20. They each draw a number from a playing card deck. Number one selects a gift and opens it. Number two can take the opened gift or choose one of the unopened one.
Along with finances, activities related to eating are another major stressor for most of us. Given how nerve-wracking Christmas can be, it’s no wonder we resort to eating more of the wrong things.
If you want to cut back and do things differently about food, talk with your family ahead so they can make plans. Be willing to compromise. Look for simpler recipes or buy prepared meals. Scale down the meal. Or consider the ease of going to a restaurant.
Instead of cooking a big Christmas dinner, purchase prepared meals you can warm up in the oven. Less stress, less mess. You can find many suggestions online.
Or instead of an entire meal, just have desert and coffee. Everyone’s favorite is desert anyway.
Keep social activities under control. All those dinners, potlucks, holiday parties, concerts and performances get overwhelming and leave you exhausted. Be intentional about what obligations you agree to — and don’t feel bad saying no.
Attend the events that feel meaningful and bring you joy and skip the ones that feel more like a chore than a celebration.
Don’t go overboard with decoration. We haul out boxes of lights, ornaments, figurines, wreaths, candles and cover every inch of space with red-and-green everything. Not only does it take a ton of time and energy to put all that stuff out, you’ve got to put it all back.
Consider dialing the decorations back and focusing on the pieces that bring you the most joy.
Consider skipping the tree. It demands time and energy. If you have pets or small children, you know it doesn’t work. It’s a hassle to keep it watered and maintained.
Just focus on friend and family — what you really enjoy and you’ll make happy memories.
Barbara Pierce is a retired licensed clinical social worker with many years of experience helping people. If you would like to purchase a copy of her book, “When You Come to the Edge: Aging” or if you have questions for her, contact her at barbarapierce06@yahoo.com.