By Barbara Pierce
Occasional anxiety or worrying is normal. But for people with an anxiety disorder, the anxiety doesn’t go away and can get worse over time. It can interfere with daily activities such as job performance and relationships. The National Institutes of Mental Health estimates that one in three of us will experience an anxiety disorder at some time.
If you have anxiety, you may feel tense and nervous, have a sense of dread or fear the worst. You can’t stop worrying, may need a lot of reassurance from others, continuously think about bad experiences or worry about the same situation over and over again. You may have a number of other uncomfortable feelings. Physically, you might have stomach issues or headaches; a feeling like a pit in your stomach and you don’t know why or trouble sleeping.
Symptoms of anxiety range from mild to disabling conditions such as PTSD, panic attacks that come out of nowhere, or agoraphobia.
What to do when you can’t stop worrying?
• Confront your stressors: First, identify what stressors could be causing your anxiety, suggested psychotherapist and licensed clinical social worker Cate Richardson-Henley of Oneonta.
Why is your anxiety there in the first place? Identify what you’re worried about. What thought keeps running through your head? Or what images do you see in your mind? Anxiety is often caused by the images running through our heads, rather than the thoughts. We don’t often stop and think about what it is that we’re afraid of. We just want to get away from it.
Once you’ve identified what’s causing your anxiety, ask yourself if there is anything that you could change the things that are causing your stress? How could you change them and lessen your anxiety?
If it’s an image of something in the past that keeps running through your mind, change the image. You can’t change what happened, but you can change how you look at it in your mind. Make a ridiculous caricature of the person who hurt you; smash that person down in your mind — anything to take away the power of that image.
• Breathe: Next, when you become anxious, breathe with deep abdominal breaths “I teach my clients how to breathe properly,” said Richardson-Henley. “People who are anxious tend to breathe in their chest area, which exacerbates anxiety and can cause a panic attack. It’s important to take deep abdominal breaths when anxious.”
James Davis, CEO, Samaritan Counseling Center, Utica, said in a previous interview: “We teach simple 4-7-8 breathing: Breathe in for four counts, hold for seven, let it out for eight. This works to regulate the amygdala. I teach it to kids all the time.”
• Distract yourself: Other experts say try the 333 rule to distract you when something triggers your anxiety. Look around to identify three objects, then three sounds, then move three body parts. Or distract your-self by looking an object very closely, noticing every little detail. Many find this strategy helps ground them when anxiety seems overwhelming as it brings your attention to the present.
• Be mindful: “I teach my clients mindfulness practices,” said Richardson-Henley. “Being mindful means living in the present moment. As most of our anxiety is often related to regrets, or stress regarding past events, or fears about the future, the present moment is usually our least anxious moment.”
• Schedule your worrying: Choose a consistent time each day for addressing your worries. When anxious thoughts arise during the day, jot them down and remind yourself to deal with them during the designated time. Give yourself 15 minutes to worry all you want. (Ideally not close to bedtime.) When you review your worry list, you might even find that the thing that bugged you at 10 a.m. isn’t a problem anymore.
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is considered one of the most effective practices to manage anxiety in the long term. A therapist can help you identify and challenge your negative thoughts that contribute to your anxiety. For example, think ‘What’s the worst thing that could happen?’ Then, ‘How could I prevent that from happening?’ and ‘What help do I have available?’ ‘Have I successfully handled things like this in the past?’
Experiment to find the options that best help you get through.
When to see a professional
If you feel like the quality of your life has changed, your work is suffering or you can’t even work anymore, if you have social anxiety or a school phobia or panic attacks. If anxiety interferes with your daily life or is hard to control, consider counseling services to help you deal with it.