By Barbara Pierce
We’re all stressed out. It’s no secret that people in the U.S. are among the most stressed-out people in the world.
We worry about how to pay for our gas and our groceries; we have serious concerns about our country’s economy; climate change presents increasingly more challenges. You know. You have a list of your own in your head.
“Stress affects everyone, but it can show up in different ways for men and women,” said Stacey Elliott, behavioral health medical director, Excellus BlueCross BlueShield. “Women are more likely to feel sad, anxious or depressed when they’re under stress. Men are more likely to deal with stress by using alcohol or drugs or by acting angry or aggressive.
“One reason for this difference is how men and women react to stress: Men often show their stress outwardly while women tend to keep it inside, which can lead to more anxiety and depression,” she continued.
Recent research and surveys consistently highlight a significant “stress gap” between women and men. Women often report experiencing higher average stress levels than men and are more likely to describe their stress as intense.
Women are twice as likely to suffer from severe stress and anxiety than men.
If you’re a woman, you’ve probably had the experience of explaining to a man what is making you feel overwhelmed, anxious or stressed and had him look at you blankly. Then he tells you “Calm down,” or “Don’t let things affect you so much.” This type of response only makes most of us more stressed.
Hormones play a role, Elliott added. “Testosterone, with higher levels in men, helps calm the stress response. Estrogen, with higher levels in women, can make the stress response stronger. Because estrogen levels change during the menstrual cycle, women may feel stressed at different times of the month.”
“Estrogen may also help protect women’s thinking and memory during stress,” she said. “Men, on the other hand, may have more trouble with memory when they’re very stressed.
“Women are also more likely to feel hyperarousal — a state of being constantly on edge. This can cause trouble sleeping, feeling jumpy or restless, and difficulty focusing.”
Symptoms of stress vary from person to person, but some typical signs of stress in women include increased worry, feeling overwhelmed, irritability, difficulty concentrating, forgetfulness, headaches, low energy, insomnia, stomachache, menstrual irregularities and more.
Symptoms of stress in men include increased alcohol or drug use, insomnia, sexual problems, depression, irritability, pain.
How to manage stress
If you’re feeling stressed, taking small steps in your daily life to manage stress can have a big impact.
Everyone manages stress differently. You can find and manage what triggers your stress and the right combination of healthy techniques that work for you.
Identify what’s causing your stress. Can you do anything to change this situation? If so, do it, and then step back. If you can’t do anything to change the situation, figure out a way to accept it and stop stressing over it.
As yoga teacher B.K.S. Iyengar reportedly said, “Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured.”
Move your body, Elliott advised. Even a short walk helps.
“Even a five-minute walk during lunch can make a difference. Small steps can lead to big changes over time,” said Elliott.
Physical activity plays a key role in managing stress. Activities that require moving both your arms and legs are particularly effective.
“Spend time with people you care about,” added Elliott. The simple act of talking face to face with another person can release hormones that reduce stress.
To manage stress, Elliott also advises us to sleep well, eat healthy foods, laugh and relax; these things make you better able to cope with stress.
It can be tempting to feel you are too overwhelmed or too worn out to eat and sleep well and have regular exercise, but building all these into a routine can help keep stress manageable. Reduce your caffeine, alcohol and sugar intake; don’t let yourself get too hungry, eat healthy snacks.
Take deep breaths, stretch or meditate. Find something that makes you laugh. Spend time outside, either being active or relaxing. Make time to do things that you enjoy to relieve your stress.
“Also, feeling like you have no control can make stress worse,” she continued. “Try to notice where you’re giving up control without meaning to; speak up for what you need and set and respect your own boundaries. These things can be hard at first, but they help reduce stress in the long run.”
Consider talking with a therapist if stress starts significantly impacting your daily life and well-being, or when you feel overwhelmed and unable to cope with it effectively.