March can be a funny month.
Some days the sun comes out, the snow starts to melt and you feel a little spark of hope. Other days are gray and muddy, and everything feels sort of in-between — not quite winter anymore, but not quite spring either.
For many of us who live alone, March can stir up something else, too: restlessness. A quiet dissatisfaction. And a wondering — Is this all there is? Is it enough? Am I okay like this?
It’s the perfect month to ask a simple but powerful question: How content am I — really?
Merriam-Webster defines contentment as “the state of being happy and satisfied.”
That sounds lovely, doesn’t it?
But contentment isn’t something we snap into place like a seatbelt. It’s something we grow into — often slowly, especially after divorce, widowhood or other life changes.
I’ve had the privilege of talking with many women and men who live alone, and our conversations almost always circle back to this idea. How do we find contentment? How do we hold onto it? And how do we reclaim it when it slips away?
I know what it feels like to lack it.
After my divorce, I spent years longing for life to be different. I focused on what was missing instead of what was present. Contentment felt far away — like something other people had figured out.
Eventually, I realized something important: contentment begins with honest self-reflection.
So, in the spirit of March — this transitional, truth-telling month — here’s a little quiz. It’s not scientific. It’s simply a mirror.
How Content Are You? A Quiz
Circle the response that feels most true right now.
1. When you think about yourself, what comes to mind first?
A. My strengths and the growth I’ve experienced
B. A mix of strengths and regrets
C. Mostly what I’ve done wrong or where I fall short
2. How does your home feel to you?
A. Like a reflection of who I am today
B. Comfortable, but I haven’t fully made it my own
C. Functional — it’s just where I sleep
3. How often do you dwell on the past?
A. Rarely — I’ve made peace with most of it
B. Sometimes — certain
memories still tug at me
C. Often — I replay old hurts or mistakes
4. How comfortable are you doing things on your own — traveling, dining out, attending events?
A. Very comfortable — I’ve learned to enjoy it
B. I’ll do it, but I still feel
self-conscious
C. I avoid it whenever possible
5. How do you care for your physical and emotional health?
A. I prioritize sleep, exercise, and check-ups
B. I try, but I’m inconsistent
C. I don’t prioritize myself
6. When something goes wrong, how do you talk to yourself?
A. With patience and encouragement
B. It depends on the day
C. Harshly — I’m my own worst critic
7. Do you make space for pleasure and small joys?
A. Yes — I build them into my life
B. Occasionally, when I remember
C. Not really — I can’t remember the last time I pampered myself
8. How do you view your single status?
A. As a meaningful chapter with its own gifts
B. As something I’m still adjusting to
C. As something that feels incomplete or unfair
Your Score
Give yourself:
•3 points for each A
•2 points for each B
•1 point for each C
Minimum score: 8
Maximum score: 24
8–13 points
Contentment may feel distant right now. That’s okay. Life transitions can shake our foundation. This might be a season for support — a grief group, a trusted friend, a counselor, or spiritual guidance. Contentment isn’t about pretending everything is fine. It’s about slowly rebuilding your footing.
14–19 points
You’re on your way. You’ve tasted contentment, but it isn’t steady yet. This is a growth phase. Small changes — refreshing your space, trying something new, strengthening your routines — can move you from “almost” to “solid.” Keep stretching. Contentment grows with intention.
20–24 points
What you’ve cultivated is precious. Contentment doesn’t mean life is perfect — it means you’ve made peace with who you are and where you stand. From this place, you can choose relationships, experiences, and adventures with clarity and confidence. Take good care of this — you’ve earned it.
A Final Thought
Contentment isn’t about having everything. It’s about learning to appreciate what’s here — and trusting yourself to handle what’s not.
March reminds us that change is underway even when the ground still looks muddy. Remember: beneath the surface, something is always growing.
If your score surprised you — good. Awareness is powerful. If it encouraged you — even better!
Whatever your score, know this: contentment isn’t a personality trait. It’s a practice. And it’s available to you — right here, right now.
I’d love to hear how you scored and what you discovered. You can reach me at: gvoelckers@rochester.rr.com
Gwenn Voelckers is a certified life coach (CLC), columnist and author of “Alone and Content,” a collection of inspiring essays for those who live alone. She welcomes your comments, questions, and inquiries at gvoelckers@rochester.rr.com.