By Barbara Pierce
“Oh! Look! How sweet!” I said to myself as I walked along the path outside my home.
A baby rabbit sat very near me, watching me with his big brown eyes as I got closer. He was so appealing, his fur so soft and luscious, I just wanted to pick him up and hug him as he curled up in my arms, feel his fur against my cheek. As he’s wild, that didn’t happen.
But the experience gave me a moment of joy.
Though it was a small moment, I clearly remember that tiny rabbit looking at me with big brown eyes. A warm, fuzzy feeling that bubbled up unexpectedly. A small point of light in the stress of daily life.
Yes, life is stressful these days. Current world events, ever increasing prices of gas and food and most everything, growing political divisiveness, intensifying climate change.
“Life is hard. Choose joy anyway!” That’s the theme of a book I just read: “Joyful Anyway,” by Kate Bowler.
“Joy isn’t hard to find,” writes Bowler. “In fact, it’s all around us. Every human being is born with the capacity for joy and like the pilot light on your stove, it burns within you even if you haven’t switched on the burners in a while.”
That makes sense. I really haven’t switched on the burners for a while. And I miss that.
“Joy isn’t just something we find,” Bowler continues. “It’s also something we can make, for ourselves and for those around us.
“When psychologists use the word joy, they mean an intense momentary experience of positive emotion. While contentment is curled up on the sofa, joy is skipping, jiving, twirling, giggling. It is a uniquely exuberant emotion, a high energy form of happiness.”
Reading those words before my walk did set me up for having that moment of joy.
“Experiencing joy often depends on preparing for it, rather than spontaneously feeling it,” said one expert.
There’s a surprising power of ordinary things to create extraordinary happiness, according to experts. Like gazing at a favorite painting or building a sandcastle on the beach. Candles blazing on a birthday cake, a huge shaggy dog, lounging in a bubble bath.
I especially love the smell of freshly brewed coffee in a mug that brings me happy memories, slipping into bed with fresh sheets, feeling the sun on my face, the smell of just-cut grass, hearing a favorite song from years ago — simple, daily pleasures I need to make myself more aware of.
Increasing your ability to find joy does bring long-lasting health benefits. Your immune system can be strengthened by your mental state, you’ll decrease your stress hormones, improve pain and relieve depression. Finding joy can help you live longer.
How to increase joy?
If you’re not sure how to go about this, start by thinking back on your favorite, happiest moments. This will give you a hint of how to achieve more joy in the future. Next, think about what you can do to bring similar things into your life now.
Keep a joy journal — take note of any time you feel a sense of joy. Look for patterns. Where do I feel most joyful? What is joyful about this? What are the most joyful objects in my house? What activities bring me the most joy? Who are the most joyful people I know? It will take trial and error to see what works best for you.
Soak in joy when it washes over you. Joy is in the moment; be aware of those moments. Spend time in nature, listen to your favorite music, use your “good” items — your coffee mugs, china, wine glasses. Move your body; exercise releases endorphins. Connect with others, help others.
Music is a great way to spark a few minutes of joy. I found this yesterday, as I drove in my car (an old bright red Solara convertible which brings me joy) and listened to an Andrea Bocelli. It was a sunny day with a lot of white fluffy clouds in the blue sky. I felt full of happiness.
Color can have a profound effect on behavior, according to experts. Bright color operates like a stimulant, a shot of caffeine for the eyes. Add small pops of bright color to your home, wear colorful clothing and accessories. There’s a clear link between our surroundings and our mental health. Research finds that people who work in sunny workplaces sleep better and laugh more than their peers in dimly lit offices, said Bowler.
Discover something new. As humans, we’re hard-wired to experience joy when we’re experiencing novelty. Developing a new pursuit can help us refocus our energy.
The most intense joy experiences are probably experienced in relationships, experts said. Strengthen your relationships with family and friends.
Switch on your burners for joy. Opportunities for joy are all around us. Just become aware.
Barbara Pierce is a retired licensed clinical social worker with many years of experience helping people. If you would like to purchase a copy of her book, “When You Come to the Edge: Aging” or if you have questions for her, contact her at barbarapierce06@yahoo.com.