By Gwenn Voelckers
It’s early September, and I can already see the leaves on my sunset maple transitioning from vibrant green to a deep reddish hue.
I love the change of seasons.
And as I sit here staring out the window, I can’t help but reflect on my own journey of change after my divorce.
Just like fall’s colorful display of resilience, I’ve come to realize that life is a series of seasons — and embracing change is the key to personal growth.
It’s just one of many life (and leaf!) lessons nature has taught me.
For those living alone after a significant life event like divorce or the loss of a loved one, it’s crucial to acknowledge that change is a natural part of life.
While it can be daunting to embrace yet more change in the midst of an already challenging transition, it’s through this process that we discover our strengths and uncover new aspects of ourselves.
As I embarked on this journey of self-discovery, I came to appreciate the benefits of embracing change:
• Personal Growth: Change encourages us to learn, adapt and acquire new skills. We become more versatile and competent individuals. I felt so proud when I purchased a new car all on my own.
• Resilience: Facing and overcoming life’s challenges helps us develop our capacity to recover from setbacks and pull through tough times. Spending a Friday night alone can feel victorious!
• Flexibility: Developing the ability to adapt to change fosters flexibility, a valuable trait that enhances our capacity to navigate life’s twists and turns with grace and ease. This is especially helpful while traveling solo through life, as well through airports.
• Overcoming Fear: Learning to embrace change can help us overcome the fear of the unknown and build confidence in our ability to face and conquer challenges. With practice, I was finally able to walk into an event alone without shaking like a leaf.
• Self-Discovery: By stepping out of our comfort zones and navigating change, we uncover hidden strengths, values and passions that may have otherwise gone undiscovered. Who knew I would become a drummer at my age?! What’s your yet-to-be-revealed talent?
Over the years, I’ve developed strategies that have helped me embrace change and foster positive transformations in my life. Check ‘em out:
• Develop a growth mindset, which views challenges and setbacks as learning opportunities rather than insurmountable obstacles. Living alone gives us all plenty of problems to solve. Embrace them!
• Be patient and kind to yourself as you navigate change, recognizing that setbacks and struggles are a natural part of the process.
• Strengthen your resilience by engaging in self-care activities, such as exercise, meditation, and spending time with people you love. I can vouch for pickleball!
• Build a support network of friends, family or advisers who can offer encouragement, advice and accountability as you pursue positive changes. Finding a trusted financial adviser was one of the best decisions I ever made.
• Remain open-minded and flexible in your approach to change, recognizing that there may be multiple paths to achieving your goals.
• Regularly reflect on your progress and celebrate milestones, no matter how small, to maintain motivation and momentum. Think ice cream, a massage or — my favorite — Saint-André triple crème cheese on a warm baguette. Yum!
• Approach change with curiosity and a desire to learn, recognizing that each experience teaches you valuable lessons about yourself and the world around you.
As you navigate the ever-changing landscape of your own life, remember that each of us possesses a remarkable potential for personal growth and transformation. This capacity is already inside you. It just needs to be tapped.
I found inspiration in nature. It showed me that change is essential for survival and growth.
Just as the leaves change in response to their shifting environment, you, too, can learn to adapt and grow from your circumstances. And enjoy the changing seasons of this new life chapter.
Gwenn Voelckers is the author of “Alone and Content: Inspiring, empowering essays to help divorced and widowed women feel whole and complete on their own.” She welcomes your thoughts on this column as well as topic suggestion for future essays at gvoelckers@rochester.rr.com.