By Barbara Pierce
It’s the new year. Many of us are making resolutions.
It seems that a new year triggers our motivation to make positive changes in our lives. We’ll resolve to lose weight, exercise more, spend less money, drink less or whatever.
We get a good feeling when we say we’re going to do all this amazing stuff and when we start picturing the results — even when we haven’t done anything yet.
Resolutions are promises we make to ourselves to improve our lives and they can be powerful if we make the right choice to ensure they’re reasonable and we keep ourselves motivated to follow up.
But experts say most of us won’t follow through. We won’t achieve the wonderful goals we set for ourselves. One study (by Baylor College of Medicine, Texas Medical Center) found that, by mid-January, 88% of us will fail to keep our resolutions.
“Yes, there’s a high rate of failure of resolutions,” agreed Wade Halverson, clinical social worker, founder of Cornerstone Mobile Counseling, Herkimer. “Our intentions are so good.”
Though there’s a high rate of failure, experts say it is still a good idea to make New Year’s resolutions. It’s a planned way to set goals for personal growth and motivates us to make positive changes. It gives us a sense of determination to see it through.
Here’s the thing: “Resolutions fail, not because people are weak. It’s because they make their resolutions too challenging, too complicated and the resolutions aren’t time limited,” Halverson explained.
So, before you give up on making resolutions, consider these tips on how to make resolutions that will actually stick.
Chose resolutions that really matter to you. Having a compelling reason will help you to stick with your resolutions when you feel tired, unmotivated and just want to take the easy way out.
Pick just one or two goals for yourself.
A good goal should be specific, measurable, reasonable and time specific, advised Halverson.
Use the concept of SMART goals:
S: Specific
M: Measurable
A: Achievable
R: Reasonable
T: Time limited
“For example, the goal of ‘I’m going to get in shape’ is too vague,” he said. “It won’t work.
Instead, say, ‘I’m going to be able to walk 10 miles without stopping by June 1.’ That’s specific, measurable, time limited. You build up to that in reasonable increments: in January you walk a few blocks. In February, walk a mile. In March, walk two miles.
“Another example: the goal of ‘I’m going to quit drinking.’ That’s not reasonable. Instead, create something reasonable, like “I’ll limit myself to two drinks a week,’ or ‘I’ll have two sober days a week in January, then three in February.’’”
Set clear and specific goals so that you have a clear target to work towards.
It’s a good idea to break down your goal into smaller tasks so they’re easier to achieve. And celebrate small wins.
Put your goal in writing; most people who write their goals have a higher rate of success; writing them down helps us remember to focus on that goal.
“Another trick is rewards and consequences,” added Halverson. “We respond well to rewards. For example, if I stay sober until June 1, I’ll go on that cruise. If I don’t stay sober until June 1, I’ll do 100 push-ups.”
“Another helpful thing is accountability; make yourself responsible for achieving your goal to a friend or someone you respect. Have them check in with you or you check in with them regularly on the progress you’re making,” he said. “Or do it cooperatively, you both work on your goals and keep each other accountable.”
Let your family and friends know about your resolutions so they can help you. This is similar to searching for a new job. If people don’t know you’re open to new opportunities, they won’t think of you when they hear of a possibility.
And be ready for obstacles. No matter how small or straightforward the goal is, there’s always a chance for an obstacle. They often happen. To keep your motivation, think ahead what obstacles you might run into and create a plan for dealing with them. For example, if you’re trying to lose weight and a friend encourages you to share a calorie-laden desert, how will you handle this? Thinking ahead on how to handle barriers limits the possibility of setbacks or failure.
Lastly, “Ask for help,” Halverson said. “Cornerstone can help. We’re about coaching, support and guidance. It’s OK to get help from someone who is a professional. It doesn’t mean you’re crazy; it just means you just want help. We can definitely make a difference!”
“At Cornerstone, we’re the Uber for mental health,” he added.
Cornerstone Mobile Counseling links people in the Mohawk Valley to local, licensed mental health professionals for counseling in their homes or via telehealth.
“Stay hopeful and believe it can be done!” he said.