By Barbara Pierce
Caring for someone with dementia is challenging.
Not only do they have memory problems, but they lack the ability to care for themselves. Depending on how much the disease has progressed, they lack the judgment to make good decisions and gradually lose the ability to think rationally. Changes in their behavior can be distressing and difficult to deal with.
If you’re caring for a person with dementia, the best place to start is with your primary physician. They understand the disease and can recommend how to meet the person’s needs. They may refer you to a specialist for more assistance.
You may want to start learning about dementia so you can prepare for challenges, reduce your frustrations and have reasonable expectations.
The Alzheimer’s Foundation is a valuable resource. Their hotline at 866-232-8484 provides information and support on a variety of topics.
A caregiver support group is most helpful as it will help you feel connected to others who understand what you’re going through. You’ll learn from others’ experiences, as well as learning about resources and coping skills.
One such support group is held at The Good News Center in Utica, led by a professional. Free of charge and open to anyone, it meets at 6 p.m. the third Monday of each month. Call 315-735-6210 to register.
This group, as well as others, is available on Zoom.
Many people with dementia, as well as caregivers, are often isolated from others. Connecting with others is valuable for both in many ways. It helps keeps the brain active, reduces the feelings of depression, anxiety and loneliness that are often associated with dementia and caregiving and helps the patient maintain communication skills longer. Feeling connected to others is associated with a higher quality of life.
“Everyone loves it!” said Tim Frazee of the Syracuse Memory Café he leads. “I’m the band leader; the ‘talking head.’ We meet the second Wednesday of each month. About 30 people come. We sing, chat, celebrate birthdays — have a lot of music activities, a light lunch.”
“It’s for people with dementia and their caregiver,” he added. “Though it’s a ministry of our church, there’s no religious component. Anyone, of any religion, is welcome. Once people come, they keep coming back. We have a lot of fun!”
This memory café, free of charge, is held at Pebble Hill Church in DeWitt. See Syracusememorycafe.org for details.
The Onondaga County Public Library also has a memory café at the Betts Branch in Syracuse.
These appear to be the only programs accessible to residents of the Mohawk Valley.
Another way for people with dementia to have those important connections with others is adult day care programs. Copper City Community Connections in Rome offers one.
“We’re open Monday through Friday,” said coordinator Julie Christiansen. “We offer memory stimulation exercises, breakfast and lunch and work on the individuals’ goals. Most participants come two or three days a week. If your long-term care insurance doesn’t cover the fees, you can apply at the Office for Aging for a grant to cover the fee or pay privately.”